Jon and Kate Plus 8 – What do you think?
Being married is tough, put 8 kids in the mix–whose marriage wouldn’t be rocky?! I know the first two years of having my twins I asked my husband for a divorce every other day (luckily he never listened to me.) Then in the heat of an argument I came to the realization that “divorce is not an option.” At that moment everything changed in my marriage. Now I am approaching my 10 year anniversary happier than ever. It does and can get better.
I think Jon and Kate are being so selfish by taking the easy way out. Before you go down the divorce road you owe it to yourself, and especially your 8 beautiful children, to exhaust every possibility to reconcile. Remember Kate, it is this beautiful family that brought you fame and fortune. Think about the message you are sending to your kids; “Mommy loves her career, fame, money more than daddy and us.”
To have a great marriage it takes a lot of effort, sacrifice and work. What I want to see televised is a couple fighting to save their marriage and family – leave the kids out!
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June 25th, 2009 2:31 pm
by Kristy
I have enjoyed watching Jon and Kate since their first TLC special. During the second season of Jon and Kate Plus 8, it started becoming obvious to me that the success of the show was beginning to alter the family dynamic.
My husband is the head of marketing for an organic drink company. He was approached multiple times by J&K’s “people” to donate product and money in exchange for product placement on the show. This is a very common practice and I didn’t think much of it.
Soon I noticed multiple product endorsements on the show. It was distracting. It had evolved from a documentary style program showcasing how an average couple copes with the every day challenges of raising two sets of multiples, to a 30 minute infomercial for everything from video games to insurance companies.
I was greatly disappointed by the news of their divorce. As a loyal viewer I have become emotionally invested in this family. I agree with Barbara that they should go to marriage counseling and broadcast THAT. (Though Jon has made it clear that he prefers anonymity to fame)
Ultimately their marriage is their business. From the interview segments aired on their show it seems to me that Kate has chosen fame and financial stability over her marriage. Jon is certainly just as responsible for the decision he made to step out of his marriage.
As a gossip hungry society we can only ever “know” what they chose to reveal to us. Without being IN their marriage I hesitate to list off my “they should haves” and “I would haves”. It is always a sad thing when a marriage ends due to a lack of communication.
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June 25th, 2009 2:32 pm
by Fatima Valles
I am a divorced single mother of two now grown daughters. It was not easy making the decision to become a single parent because I still loved my husband at the time. We tried to make it work but the circumstance were beyond repair. And it would have been an unhealthy environment to raise children in. Not to say that it was easy raising them as a single mother at times. But in the long run I believe it was the best decison for me and my family.
Being married and raising a family takes a partner ship, commitment, compromise, hard work, unconditional love and lots and lots of patience. Doing this in the public eye is twice as hard. I have onlly watched the show a few times. I can’t imagine having eight kids. I think Jon and Kate especially lost perspective of the true focus of why they were doing this. It started out to support and raise their children and became about fame.
I think that before they made the decision to split they should have walked a way from the show and really worked on the realtionship and keeping their family together. And then if it did not work then they could take the next step.
As for continuing the show. I think it is disgusting to put those children on the air. I saw how difficult and painful it was for my own children because of the divorce. For Kate to televise this is exploitation and in the long run will be harmful to her kids and their future relationship.
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June 25th, 2009 3:03 pm
by Heidi
I feel like I don’t have enough info to judge kate on her filing for divorce. However, I can say, as a “reality tv” editor, that it takes a special kind of someone to consent to be followed by a camera crew….day in and day out. It is something you do if you want exposure. Perhaps Kate wanted it and Jon simply aquiesced…in which case this was a ticking time-bomb from the start. Bottom line is that if the show was killing their marriage, they should have pulled the plug together…finances be damned. But when I read Jons statements it doesn’t sound like he wants to reconcile. Nor am I convinced that Kate’s desire to fix things was for her family and not for the show. I do believe they love their kids, and am proud of their agreement to leave the kids in their home and do the moving from home to home themselves….don’t think I could have done it. That may be a good thing to show….how they co-parent and move between their new and old lives. So far they seem to be making some tough and child centered choices.
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June 25th, 2009 3:13 pm
by Caroline Bryan
Barb,
I absolutely agree with you! Although I have never watched their show, I have followed their story via the news and tabloid/magazine coverage. And, as we all know, their recent divorce news has made national headlines. As a result, so has the controversial debate over what is best for the children.
I have been happily married for 22 years and have four beautiful children. When my husband and I discussed marriage and went through the pre-marital counseling that followed, we both agreed that “divorce would never be an option”. This was as much for us as it would be for our future family. Our commitment to hold sacred the pledge and promises that we made in the presence of our family, friends and more importantly, God, became our top priority. When you truly believe that marriage is “sacred”, there is a bond and freedom that comes along with that belief that soliidifies your relationship and your commitment, unlike anything else. Your marriage becomes the most important thing in your life, worth fighting for, at any cost!
When children come into the picture, it only intensifies the importance of this commitment. You now owe it to your children to make your marriage work so that they can be brought up in a stable home, with the love of a mather and father, the way God intended.
On the other hand, I am not naive. I do know that there are certain marriages out there that are so messed up, and couples priorities so out of balance, that homes turn into toxic environments, especially for the children. In this case, one would hope that the couple’s love and commitment to their children would supercede any hostility that they may have towards one anotherr. The ability to remain close, to put the needs of their children first, is imparitive if they want their children to thrive. Unfortunately, it is seldom that adults can put their hurt and self interests aside, when going through a divorce, and focus on making the necessary sacrifices for the sake of their children.
In the case of Jon and Kate, it is self evident that their love of fame and fortune is stronger than the love they have for their family and each other. It is truly a tragedy! I pray that these children will be able to make it through life, in a fish bowl, regardless of the choices made by their selfish parents.
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June 26th, 2009 10:39 pm
by Katie
Oh man….. it is devastating…….. I couldn’t agree with you more. It is so selfish. I feel so bad for the kids.
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June 29th, 2009 3:45 pm
by MomX
I feel terrible for Kate. First she gets cheated on then left
with all those kids and know there is a witch hunt on her.
I was thinking about sending her a note, its terrible.
The fact that they are criticizing her for being rigged and
controlling, well you would have to be to survive all those toddlers.
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June 29th, 2009 3:46 pm
by j
As far as my thoughts on Jon & Kate… I haven’t watched the show, that said, I think it’s one thing to have your family/kids life on a reality show when it’s somewhat below the radar or you’re trying to teach/learn something from a limited situation… but once your kids & your parenting start ending up as continual tabloid fodder it might be time to reconsider the choice.
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June 29th, 2009 3:48 pm
by Rosette
Then I caught the part at the end when you ask the “older” man what the secret is for his 27 years. Well, I was married, happily, for 25 years and still was shocked at the divorce. After all, the kids had grown, we were financially more secure than ever, we were in good health, had lots of friends and time to travel and enjoy life…So: that’s the next chapter. NOt yet part of your lives. The mid-life crisis. The fear of dying. The attraction to younger girls and the cheating. NO amount of date nights and s e x works then.
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June 29th, 2009 3:48 pm
by Francesa
My husband said ‘ clearly the people at social services don’t watch cable’. Personally I have compassion for any family going through any struggle especially when children are involved but I really have to question why we are so interested and question our responsibility as a society in creating jon & kate.
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June 29th, 2009 3:54 pm
by Ohio Mom
Before two people take their vows in marriage, they need to look at the definition of the word vow. It means we are bound to one another. I think people go into marriage much too lightly, it seems it is a disposable act now days. I have been married almost 30 years and you know it’s not all been a bed of roses. But through the trials we have been through we are much stronger because we fought for everything we have. My husband is my best friend and his dedication to me is a wonderful example of what the words better or worse stand for. Because we went through the worst, we are living proof of what better is. Look at the example we have set for our children. We did not give up.. we pushed through and made it.
I would love to see Jon and Kate step out of the public eye with their children and work their tails off to save their marriage for the sense of accomplishment they will have for themselves and for the well being of their children. Even if they can’t save the marriage, they need to start looking at the long term effect all this will have on their children. Hopefully their children are young enough that if they get out of the show now, they can begin again. We can all look back at what we should have done, but we can not change the past. We can make sure we do things differently in the future. Their focus needs to be on the 8 young lives they brought into this world.
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July 8th, 2009 1:50 pm
by Claudia
There will never be enough information for outsiders to offer real advice to this family. There is a lot of judgement going on here that is quite frankly shameful. Divorce is never an “easy way out” and to focus on Kate as being the problem because she’s taking this route is unfair. It takes 2 to tango.
Barbara, I’m suprised at your comment about what the kids will think about their mother’s decision. What about the kids’ future thoughts on Jon’s cheating?
The only rationale comment I’ve read so far is the recommendation to pull the plug on the show and have them deal with this privately.
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July 9th, 2009 12:12 am
by barb
Claudia,
My apologies for overlooking Jon’s cheating, you are correct. I guess I consider those more “adult issues” that kids don’t blame themselves for. I feel that Kates decisions can result in the children directly blaming themselves, especially since so much of “her success” is based on the participation and performance of those children. Thank you for your comments you definitely got me thinking….
barb
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July 10th, 2009 3:18 pm
by Virginia mom
As an avid viewer of the show, I just wanted to offer a few observations vs. judgements about the state of the Gosselin family. 1.) Did it not seem like Jon and Kate were more unified and on the same spiritual page (i.e. attending church together as a family), when the had IT/nursing job incomes, lived in a modest-size home, and had the support of friends -Aunt Jody, Nana Jan, and Beth to help them? Did the family not go to Hawaii to renew their wedding vows on national television, reminding viewers a gazillion times during the voiceovers/couch interviews that they wanted to prove to their children that their committment to stay together as a family was tougher than teflon? And why during each interview that Jon and Kate have done, post infedelity allegations/paparrazi/and the full blown fame, are they emphasizing the kids as their priorities, when as a professed Christian couple they should know that a couple’s RELATIONSHIP is the most important thing, not the children. My husband and I are Christians, and parents of a toddler and new baby very soon. We love our kids, dearly, and they are one of the best things to happen to us. But they are just passing people in our lives when you look at it from a certain perspective. The kids will one day grow up, and have their own lives. I married my husband for the long haul, and the maintainance and nurture of that relationship is first and foremost. Perhaps Jon and Kate missed that sermon one Sunday. It just sickens me that they spent 3 episodes last season pledging their eternal unity as a family in a Hawaiian vow renewal only to take this ridiculous route of divorce simply because their “priorites” are the kids and not their marriage. *sigh*
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August 4th, 2009 11:10 am
by Nana
I still feel that Jon seems to be enjoying the very thing he claimed he didn’t like. If the media is correct, hanging out with other women, a 1 bedroom apt, being splashed all over the news is completely opposite of what he said to start with. Kate is hard on him but with 8 kids someone has to be the bad guy. If kates brother is so concerned about the kids welfare, perhaps the Duggars should be removed along with several other shows. Just remember, it is Jon who is in the spotlight-not the kids. He also seems to like to start every sentence with “I”. Who cares that he is “only 32″ He fathered 8 kids. They are #1. What’s going to happen when one of his girlfriends wants a baby of her own? He doesn’t work but seems to have no cash flow problem. Now who is exploiting his children????
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August 5th, 2009 6:36 pm
by Bernie
Barb,
I loved what you said. Their divorce isn’t final until sometime around December. I think they are both at fault in their own special way. If they could say, “Hey, we’re going to weather the storm, change our attitudes, get help from counselors and stick this out and forget the divorce”, then I think that would be the best thing that could happen. Usually, after the storm, there is this beautiful blue sky and the clouds go away and you can see clearly. Unfortunately, they caved before the storm cleared. They both need to stop being selfish. I think they should go on the Dr. Phil Show! Maybe Dr. Phil can help them straighten out their marriage. Remember, they’re not really divorced unitl December. Some of your might think, “Dang, Kate shouldn’t go back to that womanizer. But honestly, she helped to create the womanizing monster that Jon became. YOu’re right, they are showing all those lovely children that marriage sucks and it’s not worth it. If you started out loving each other, I truly beleive that a marriage can be repaired. But each needs to be truly willing to change his/her ways.
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